How Homework Ruled My Life (Reflective Essay)
For days, after realizing this week’s assignment was to reflect on our individual growth in this class, I planned to title my essay “My Growth of Resentment.” The resentment did pile up, to where I nearly dropped the class, twice, except that I hated wasting $600.00. I did learn in this class. I did like the teacher. There is much to appreciate, looking back. The fact remains, however, that the main learning curve for me was adjusting to the time drain required for homework.
First, it was the technology. When this class began, I had not read or responded to personal e-mail for eleven months. I had no idea what a blog was. I didn’t understand the language in class instruction or how to navigate into classroom areas. I didn’t know the difference between “upload” and “download.” My new computer was sensitive and unruly. I hand copied all instructions so I could read them while trying to follow them at the same time in a different window. It drove me to tears at late hours. I felt stupid and frustrated most of the time but with help from patient and tech-friendly others and by doggedly seeking to comprehend, I learned enough to squeak by.
Then it was personal crisis superseding all else except for relentless homework. A young adult, who I’d mentored for years, attempted suicide twice in ten days. I lost my car which forced me to walk, bike, or use public transit. My partner flew to China for three weeks and came home with an 18 month old daughter. New work proved to be especially stressful. One night I stood on my porch while a friend coached me through deep breathing via cell phone because I feared a collapse, physically. If I had a minute to spare, I would have sought prescription medication for the first time. The homework was a monkey on my back but by rationing it out two hours per morning on most workdays and four hours on each day off, I slogged on. I hated it.
I also take too long to do every little thing. I am far too obsessive. I care too much which makes it laborious. I appreciate a teacher with high standards and, god knows, I have much to learn. Of course a writing class requires writing. Regardless of the reasoning, I resented not having time to rake leaves this year, or otherwise enjoy the fall, my favorite season. I resent not weatherizing my drafty windows before the heating bills roll in. For the first year in many, I won’t be sending out Holiday cards. This resentment about lack of time stems from an original message at enrollment that said “You should expect 3 hours of homework weekly per 3 credit class” when it is clearly arbitrary to the particular class, the teacher, and the student involved. I took that message literally and while I learned many things, like blogging and the basic structure of an essay, the main thing I got from this class was how to live within a limited amount of time.
Test comment.
Sadie, I commend you for being honest and having the energy to continue. I too am a returning student after many years and this being my first class on-line with all the new stuff and language scared me to. The fact that your personal life went upside down at the same time and you still managed to complete this class is unbelievable. I only had the class and work to worry about and I was pulling my hair out. I was grateful that my life stayed on a steady course during this class.
“Or I don’t know what I would have done.” You are very brave and although you have questions of why you took this class, you did it and now you get to make decisions on what your next step in life will be.One thing I would like to add is that I think you are one of the best writers I have ever read. I always looked forward to reading what you had to write, because I could just read it and be absorbed in it. It was like when you were a kid and read Alice in wonderland and wanted to jump into the book and meet the rabbit. I for one am very glad you made the decision to take Engl1106-57. You have touched my life and made it fuller.Thank You. Take Care Val
I love this brutal honesty. I never was going to drop this class, but I had my share of extra stress all through this semester. I actually had to post one week from the hospital after falling off of a ladder. I enjoyed your views and insights that were in all of your essays.You have a good flow to your writing and you keep the reader captivated.
“The fact remains, however, that the main learning curve for me was adjusting to the time drain required for homework.”
Your thesis is well supported and very much my feelings as well.There is no way that 3 hours per week was sufficient for this class. Not a CHANCE! Congrats on all the hard work and success. You made my peer reviews a good experience. Thank You and I hope we have more classes together sometime.
“resentment about lack of time stems from an original message at enrollment”
I am glad you made it through the course. I chose this quote because it was something I had a hard time with as well. I used their guideline and registered for 16 credits… normally I am an A-B student, but because of the homework/time demand overload, will be squeaking by with C’s in a couple courses.
I think going back to school is wonderful, but I do believe the online option should be explained better, for student and teacher to benefit.
Again, glad you made it!! Best wishes! Sara
“…the main thing I got from this class was how to live within a limited amount of time.”
I think this is the most difficult thing for many of us to learn, I know it is for me. Awesome reflection, it’s great when we can learn more than just what is taught in a classroom. Good luck in the coming semesters!
If I’d have known the course was killing you…
The important thing is that you’ve survived, even thrived. You have a strong voice in everything you write, and I hope you keep doing it now.
By the way, I’m curious about where you read that bit about 3 hours of homework per week. That’s a bit of misinformation I’d like to snuff out.
Relax now, for a few weeks!