The Men We Carry in Our Minds
Sander’s main point in his essay “The Men We Carry in Our Minds” questions drawing neat lines between men and women, in regard to power, without taking class, race and other factors into account. He does this by showing us the powerlessness and brutality his male role models endured. He begins with a brief but searing memory of black convicts and white guards, then moves through the many toilers and soldiers he knew and ends with the man who sat at a front desk.
A scholarship is his ticket to a new world. “Here I met for the first time young men who had assumed from birth that they would lead lives of comfort and power.” This sentence stood out for me because it highlights how much one’s point of view depends on one’s position in the world. We each understand our own grievances, our own feelings of outsiderness and the injustices we suffer because of them, better than we understand someone else’s. He says “It was not my fate to become a woman, so it was easier for me to see the graces.”
I liked this man, Scott Sanders, very much, because I personally identified with his story. I, too, grew up in a small farm community where men endured back breaking labor on a daily basis, (however, in my family, my mother worked beside my father in the fields and then came home to an endless array of backbreaking household chores as well, including daily loads of wet laundry lugged up basement stairs to hang on lines. We were a family of 11 with no modern appliances.) Like Sanders, I, too, received a ticket out to redefine myself in a big city. I came of age during the so called “second wave” of feminists but clearly lacked the confidence and expectations that my middle class sisters felt entitled to. And now, as a city busdriver, there is not a day that passes where I do not witness in some way a white person showing their entitlement to feel superior to another of a different race. We seem limited in our ability to walk a mile in another’s shoes and power remains relative to one’s individual culture, to one’s race, class, gender, abilities, etc. But the lines between individual experiences are complicated and therefore difficult for us to make narrow generalizations, like between gender only, in this case, without taking all aspects of a person into consideration.
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