Mackensie Rohloff

English comp section 57

October 8, 2007

Argument/Persuasion

To Obey or Not to Obey

A few years ago, I decided to join my husband’s church.  In order to do so, I needed to take some religion classes.  My husband and I are both Lutheran, however, he is from the
Wisconsin synod and I am from the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America.  There are a few differences, but the one that stuck out the most to me is that the man is the head of the household and I should obey him.  He can consult with me on decisions, finances and the overall management of the household, but in the end, he is to make the final decisions.  Now, me being just a tad bit of a hothead, I beg to differ.  My husband doesn’t seem to believe in this way of life either.

            First of all, I contribute to the household finances just as much if not more than my husband.  I work two jobs, year round.  At my first job, I am a day care provider.  It is a very tiring job and very rewarding at the same time.  At my second job, I am a bartender which means I work late nights.  My husband works one job and is laid-off for about five months every year.  He does make a fair income, but with me working two jobs, I do bring in more money to the family.  I also manage all of the financial aspects for the household, including bills, taxes, shopping and the children’s needs.

            Besides working, I am a full-time college student trying to better myself and in-turn our family.  I plan on earning a bachelors in business so that I don’t have to work two dead end jobs.  I hope this will set a great example and encourage my children to attend college and make the most of their lives.  Attending college takes a lot of hard work and determination.  I feel this is another reason why I don’t agree with my church and its beliefs that the man is superior.  I work too hard to have someone or something tell me how I should live my life.

            I am also the self-appointed housekeeper, which in my mind is another reason why I should not have to feel less of a person than my husband.  I seem to be the only one who knows how the dishwasher, washing machine, dryer and vacuum work.  If, by chance, someone does decide to help with the household chores, they just don’t do it the way I would prefer and I usually end up doing it over again.

            In addition to these tasks, I am also the main caregiver to five children at home.  If this responsibility isn’t the most important in both of our lives, than I don’t know what is.  Caring for children is very rewarding, time consuming and stressful.  Our children at home range from 6 years old to twins at 10 months old.  Being an in-home day care provider, I am with my children all the time.  I truly enjoy this; however, it does take its toll on me from time to time.  I make sure they are fed, bathed, tucked in at night and the list goes on.  I take care of all school related issues and still find time to read books to them before they go to bed.  This is another reason why I disagree with some of my church’s beliefs.

            Last, but not least, I teach Sunday school every week at the same church that tells me that my husband is the head of the household, whom I should obey, and I should believe in his decisions.  I don’t feel I have the authority to teach the children the way I feel about some beliefs that may differ from the church, so I just don’t educate them on certain issues.  My church does commend me for the hard work I put forth for my family.  My children will be raised in this church and taught to respect faith, family and friends, with a few beliefs left untaught.

            I believe it is alright to not believe in everything my church states and still belong to a great congregation.  I feel that I contribute to my family in so many positive ways and if I feel the need to speak my mind to my husband, then I do so.  We don’t seem to argue about much and most of the time we feel the same about many situations.  We understand each other and remember one another’s feelings.  We also appreciate what the other contributes to the family, whether it is financial or family related.  Even though I don’t agree with the fact that the man is superior in the family, I strongly believe in my faith and will continue to lead the life we are as we are.  I have found that others in my congregation, men and women both, feel the same about this belief.  However, it is something that is not talked about, rather just understood in their families.

            My church’s reasoning for the belief that I have many issues with, is that they believe the man should be the provider.  My husband is a great provider, but with today’s society, families can’t seem to make it with one provider.  I feel that my contributions should be considered in the church’s eyes and understand that women, no matter their part, are also great providers.