Ken's Blog

“Compassion is not a character trait like a sunny disposition. It must be learned, and it is learned by having adversity at our windows, coming through the gates of our yards, the walls of our towns, adversity that becomes so familiar that we begin to identify and empathize with it.”

I chose this quote because I believe it sums up not only our attitude towards empathy, but our attitude in general. As a society, Americans (and I include myself) have a tendency to shut out the bad in the world as long as it doesn’t affect us personally. Assuming that our own personal needs are met, we would just as soon not think about how that happens. Somewhere in the back of our minds, we know that in order for us to get that great new pair of jeans or gallon of gas cheap, there’s someone out there who’s life really stinks. But they’re far away and not real to us. Until, one day, they show up on our doorstep.

The point that the writer is trying to make is that we know situations like this exist but we would really rather not look at them. And when we are forced to look at them, do we react with true compassion? Or is our objective simply to make them go away again so we don’t have to be uncomfortable? Maybe a little of both.

As an added note, I’d like to answer Steve’s question. These three essays were very powerful and did have a common thread. If I had to choose one word to summarize them, I would choose accountability. We all need to hold ourselves accountable for our own actions. Sometimes that means accepting the consequences or stepping out of our daily routine to help someone less fortunate.  Perhaps big business could occasionally say no to marketing ideas that compromise our impressionable youth. Just because they can manipulate to make money doesn’t necessarily mean they should!

“If the children of the nation’s elites were facing enemy fire without body armor, riding through gauntlets of bombs in unarmored Humvees, fighting desperately in an increasingly hostile environment because of arrogant and incompetent leadership, then those problems might well find faster solutions.”

The main point of this essay is an argument to reinstate a fair military draft. I thought that the quote I chose was a very strong support for this point. It puts the shoe on the other foot, so to speak. He sites numerous examples in history of the “priviledged few” who were able to avoid serving their country while they should have been the first to go. In the past, men considered it to be their civic duty to fight for their country. That included men from wealthy and influential families. Not just the ones who didn’t have the power or couldn’t figure out how to avoid service.

“Yet these truths are no solace against the kind of alienation that comes of being ever the suspect, a fearsome entity with whom pedestrains avoid making eye contact.”

I chose this quote because because it sums of the “spirit” of this essay. How frustrating must it have been for Mr. Staples to be judged solely by the color of his skin? Having to create personal routines to avoid potential conflicts that were expected only because he fit a “profile” hardly seems fair. What fascinated me was the fact that all he had to do was whistle classical music to change who passersby assumed he was!  As a young black man, he was presumed guilty until proven innocent. A completely different standard for him than for his young, white counterparts.

His main point is that, because of appearance, certain things are assumed about us. Whether true or not, having to prove ourselves otherwise is most certainly discrimination. His support is in the many personal examples he gives and in the stories of other young black men.

“I believed that her english reflected the quality of what she had to say. That is, because she expressed them imperfectly, her thoughts were imperfect.”

I chose this quote because I believe that it sums up what the writer is attempting to say in this essay. As a society, we have the tendency to judge the people we come in contact with not by what they say, but by how they say it. “Broken” or less than perfect speech seems to make us feel that the speaker is somehow less educated or that their opinion is less valuable. We think ourselves to be superior to them or, at the very least, simply don’t take them seriously. I have seen countless examples of this over the course of my life. They’ve taught me not to “judge the book by it’s cover.” The person having difficulty expressing himself in our language may be a certifiable genius. I think what’s important to remember here is that much of the rest of the world is bilingual or more while here, in America, the percentage is actually quite small. Linguistically, there are millions of people who are way ahead of us!

I believe the writer’s thesis is that we should not assume that someone is inferior or to be treated as “second class” simply on the basis of how well they express themself, although this is typically the case. The writer sites numerous examples of this in the essay. The following quote is one of them. “And when the doctor finally called  her daughter, me, who spoke in perfect English-lo and behold-we had assurances the CAT scan would be found, promises that a conference call on Monday would be held, and apologies for any suffering my mother had gone through for a most regrettable mistake.” 

“But the fact that we have badly served the institution of marriage is not a reflection on the institution itself; it is a reflection on us.”

I chose this quote because I sincerely believe it to be true. Regardless of what we believe about hetrosexual or same sex marriage, whether or not either will succed is a matter of personal committment. The institution of marriage istself is founded upon a sound concept. A stable environment for raising children (theoretically) and the continuation of the human race. That same stability can potentially be found in a any union, regardless of sexual orientation. As an example, it certainly must be possbile for two aunts or two uncles to raise a child who will become well adjusted and go on to live a “normal” life. While this type of arrangement may work, still it seems that the most effective way to offer children what they really need is a trdaitional mother/father relationship. Each offers something different , yet important in it’s own way.

I believe the author’s point, however, is that in the absence of traditional marriages and unions, we can only expect things to get worse. He supports that point well with statistics and data.

“How deep is the past? I find myself wondering after Anneke has left. How much of an inheritance do I have to throw off? Is it just the beliefs I breathed in as a child? Do I have to scour memory back through father and grandfather? Through St. Paul? Beyond Stonehenge and into the twilit caves? I’m convinced the past we must contend with is deeper even than speech.”

I chose this quote because of my own past. Growing up in a deeply religious rural environment, my very first childhood memories were of the very specific roles of the men and women who lived there. Each had his or her place and those places were seldom questioned. As I grew older, I watched things begin to change. Both women and men began to step out of those roles and explore new freedoms they weren’t previously able to. Those belonging to my parent’s and grandparent’s generation, however, changed very little. It seemed to me that, in their eyes, the the very idea of change was absurd. The roles they grew up with were the roles they intended to keep. In some ways, I truly believe that it made things much simpler.

In today’s world, we no longer have the luxury of that simplicity. Whether good or bad, gender roles have become a much more complicated issue. Like most people, I’ve accepted that. It is the way we live now. But like Mr. Sanders, I can’t help wondering about the effects of the past. How far do we have to go back? Is it possible to entirely change something once so ingrained in us? Will the generations that follow even be able to begin to understand the type of mentality of the generations before them?

I believe that Mr. Sander’s main point is differences in perspective. After all, why would any woman be envious of the life of his father? Having never really known any other kind of life for a man, it seemed preposterous that any woman would see a man’s life as enviable. Once realizing that there really were men who lived the lives of wealth and power, his perspective began to change. But even then, not entirely.

” The self loathing that I feel is neither physically nor intellectually substantial. What I hate is not me but a disease. I am not a disease.”

I chose this quote because I think what the writer is trying to say is important to all of us in some way. At times in our lives, we all feel like we are less than we really are. Whether it’s caused by an illness, a failed relationship, a physical impairment, or a self image that we’ve been fighting with since childhood. We have a tendency to put all the blame on ourselves for our “predicament” rather than to simply accept that fate may not have been all that kind to us. Just because we’re not necessarily beautiful on the outside doesn’t have to mean that we can’t be on the inside. The challenge is coming to terms with what and who we are and finding a way to be happy with that.

I think what the writer is trying to say is that we need to be honest with ourselves and our situations. Trying to cover up what we are with elaborate titles changes nothing. In the end, coming to terms with who we are is really the only way to achieve peace!

I can find running water beneath the surface of the ground. To do this, all I need to do is bend a couple of coat hangers in just the right way and walk very slowly. When I find water, the coat hangers react in such a way as to indicate where water is present.

I was born and raised in a small, remote, farming community in
SW Minnesota in the year 1963. As such, we were relatively isolated from many aspects of the modern world. With the exception of a grain elevator, I never saw a building taller than three stories high until I was 18 years old.