Kelly

Kelly Harlander

English 1106

Essay 2

Parenting Styles 

            Parents have the ultimate impact on their children’s future.  As a parent I have learned that my most influential teachers have been my own parents.  During the course of my childhood I have slowly been taught how to/ or not to value my children.  There are two areas where my parenting style differs from my parents: education, and discipline.

            While growing up I can remember my parents always struggling financially.  My father and mother both dropped out of high school as teenager, forcing them to take a

 minimum wage job that gave them little satisfaction This is part of the reason they returned to high school when my siblings and I were in our teens. I don’t remember them ever helping me with my homework or even caring about my grades.  As long as I was going to graduate they were happy.  I wish they would have pushed me harder as a teenager to learn my full potential.   Now as a parent I understand the importance of a college education.  Unlike my parents I have found that to be truly content in life it is important to have a career not just a job.  While supporting my husband through the last 10 years of school I have worked as a manager for a large pizza chain.  Although I was very successful at my job it was exactly that, a job not a career.  I found it unsatisfying and dreaded going to work everyday.  Grades and learning are strictly enforced with my husband and me.  There are no excuses for poor grades and little effort.  I believe that through effort comes intelligence.  This is the first example of how my parents and I differ. By teaching my children the importance of school I am attempting to ensure their future success in life.

            The second example is discipline, while I was growing up my parents believed in tough love.  As a military man my fathers discipline was very stern.  We were often spanked, and were rarely allowed to speak our minds.  I remember on several different occasions my father and brothers getting into fist fights because my brothers were speaking out of turn, or just speaking.  I have found as a parent that spanking only let’s out aggression it doesn’t discipline a child.  Children do not learn through fear they learn through love and understanding.  By showing self restraint I am also teaching self restraint.  For the sake of future generations it is my duty to be the best parent that I can possibly be. I have learned from my parents that tough love doesn’t work, as a result of harsh discipline I became a fearful adult, this is definitely a trait that I don’t want my children to experience.  

            Parenting is a learning experience, by watching my parents I have taught myself the parenting styles that work for my family.  Education and discipline are two of many building blocks that children need to have a solid future.  If children are not allowed to feel security and self esteem, in most cases, they will grow up to be dysfunctional adults.  Being a parent is similar to walking a tight rope, a steady balance is the key to staying on the rope.