Heidi\’s blog of randomness…

What are some of the things you classify? Do you classify people or places? It is crazy to think of how many times a day we classify things. I find myself classifying people on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes how we classify people can be stereotypical. I think for the most part when I classify people it is from factual observations. The main place where I find myself classifying people is at work. I work at a nursing home in Duluth. I am constantly noticing the difference in the families that come to visit their loved ones. There are mainly three types of families. The three types are the families who truly care about their loved one, the family who is hoping that their loved one passes away so they can inherit materials, and the families that are never around.

 The first type of family is my favorite type. It is a type of family I like to call the Disney family. This type of family is visiting their loved ones whenever they get a chance. I have seen families come on the weekends, after work, between their son’s baseball games, just whenever they can. Everyone in this day and age has their own things going on within their family, but when I see families come in to see their mom or dad, grandma or grandpa, it brings me great joy. It is amazing how happy the patients are when they’re families come to see them, so as a health care provider it is wonderful to see the patient happy. There is one family in particular that I think of when I think of this type of family. Their last name is Smith, and it is the son and grandson that come in every Wednesday to see their grandpa/ dad, Victor. They live on the Iron Range, but still find time every week to come see Victor. Victor’s blue eyes light up with such happiness when they are visiting him, and the whole time his son and grandson are there he has the biggest smile on his wrinkled face.

The second type of family is what I like to call money hungry scavengers. This type of family is the type that obviously wants their loved one to pass away to inherit their belongings. This is probably the worst family that I have to deal with. It is so obvious that they don’t care about the person they are visiting. They always talk about money situations, and wills. It makes me frustrated. There is one family that comes to my mind when I think of this family type. I call them the wicked Wilson’s. It is always the granddaughter with big crazy bushes blonde hair, penciled in eyebrows, and tacky outfits, with her wacky sidekick daughter. The smell of these two coming off the elevator is enough to make me want to leave. They always come to visit their grandmother Ruth. Ruth is the dearest lady. I call her peanut, because she is so small and sweet. Her wicked grand daughter always ends up making her cry, because she always talks about money situations, the farm, her will, and how she thinks she should be getting certain items. It makes me so sad. I can just sense that that the she is just after her farmland.

The third type of family is the mystery family. I always here about the, but never see them. This is the type of family that had no problem dropping their loved one off at the door, but had a huge problem finding the way back in to visit. I don’t understand how that works. This type of family has no idea what it does to their loved one. I am a very caring and compassionate person and when I see patients that I have grown close to cry because they haven’t seen their son or daughter in a long time, or their son and daughter say they will be in to visit and never do. It breaks my heart. I don’t understand how someone could do that to his or her mother or father. After everything my parents have done for my I could never even think about doing that to either or them. John is a prime example of a father who’s two sons, and three daughters are invisible. John seemed to be so cold and heartless when I first met him. I would always try to be nice to him, offer her things, make him smile, and never could. Finally one day I sat down with him and looked at some pictures he had. I got him talking about his family, how his wife had died; his children never came to visit, and how depressed he was. He said it was hard for him to sit and see other people happy to have their loved ones visit and he couldn’t experience that happiness. He started to cry, and said that no one ever talked to him the way I did, or taken the time to get to understand why he was the way he was. I was so sad for him, but at the same time happy that I made him smile for the first time since he had gotten to the home.

After hearing that story and seeing other patients experiencing the same thing, in my eyes the mystery family is as bad if not worst as the money hungry scavengers.        Some might say it is easy for me to write a paper pointing fingers at families. I don’t know all the family backgrounds. It is true. I know that the types of families I have examined are factual. I know what I hear and what I see from patients. The stories I hear, tears I see, smiles I witness, are all proven acts of these types of families. There are always the people who don’t fit in to the categories, I have listed, but it is the three main types I see. The three types I see are the most common types I have noted while working at the facility I do. I hope this makes you as the reader think about if you have grandparents, mom or dad, or loved ones in a nursing facility. It is unbelievable how much a difference it can make to visit for 5 minuets even. I know I feel great when I walk in one of the patients room’s and can make them smile, or see them happy visiting with loved ones. I hope by me writing this, if you do have a loved one in a health facility you can stop and think, and put yourself in their shoes. No one wants to be the mystery family or the money hungry scavengers.