Pedestrian View

It’s true. In the winter time, Minnesotans drive out onto lakes, drill holes in the ice, huddle in little houses for hours, and wait. I spent all day last Saturday with my brothers, Dave and Nate, on Upper Red Lake, and then all day Monday with Dave and his friend Bruce on Lake of the Woods. I caught one fish too small to keep, and I caught it about ten minutes before we packed up and left on Monday. I was really pleased.

I’m kicking myself that I didn’t bring a camera to supply more documentation, so you’re looking at some generic internet photos used to promote ice fishing vacations. You’ll never see these getaways given away on The Price is Right, but there are thousands of folks out on the ice each weekend in Minnesota.

What are they doing? This is a good question. I think a Top Ten list is the best way to approach this subject:

1. Drinking lots of cheap beer (Grain Belt is my favorite)

2. Discussing trucks that went through the ice recently, how they got them out, what fines they paid, and what morons they are

3. Eating cheesy sausages boiled to perfection in lake water

4. Grilling venison chops from November’s deer hunt (also done in the cold from small, portable buildings)

5. Eating venison chops from a “plate” made from an over-turned pickle bucket washed with a handful of snow

6. Remembering fish that we’ve caught on other trips (necessary because we aren’t catching any on this trip)

7. Peeing in public under more sky than Montana’s within earshot of the fish house, and commenting on force, volume, velocity, duration, and color.

8. Privately wishing we’d stayed home to watch the cooking channel and help our wives clean the mini-blinds

9. Letting go of every gas formerly withheld in polite company

10. Swearing as if it’s something we do every day without thinking about it

Notice that catching fish isn’t on the list. Dave did haul in a 19 1/2 inch walleye Monday. With that and two smaller ones Bruce brought in, we did feed Dave, Vicki and I Monday night in Warroad. This is about as good as the fishing gets, however. There are other people who do better - who even do well - but these people have never been me or anyone I know. They’re spoken about with reverence and mystery. They’re something akin to Yeti or Sashquach.

Still, it’s a good time. Saturday was a warm day - about 30 degrees. Monday was sub-zero with a wind our of the northwest that made your eyes water after ten seconds.

It was great to be with my brothers and rehash the old days on the farm. What’s more, they provide all the equipment. If you can match their offer, any time you want to go, let me know.