Pedestrian View

At my semi-annual dental checkup last week, I put my hygenist to the test.  She and her kind have been harping about flossing for decades.  I heed the brow-beating each time, too.  Authority figures in flowery smocks make me termble.  I heed them for about a week; then my memory fades and my flossing goes down the tube. 

A year or so ago, she showed me a short video (comfortable seating) about Perry O’Dontle disease, and it was terrifying.  Perry was connected to a list of certified killers - heart disease, diabetes, athlete’s foot and others (who can remember them all).  He reminded me of Perry O’Parsons, the crooning alter ego of Perry Smith (cold blooded killer of the Clutter family of Holcolm, Kansas in 1959 - see In Cold Blood below). The andedote to Perry?  Floss. 

So simple.

I vowed to floss.  I was determined.  I quit within a week.

This fall, however, I began to have some real hot and cold sensitivity.  A glass of water made me wince.  A spoonful of soup sent me through the ceiling.  I asked my daughter Maia to google “tooth sensitivity” one day, and 15 seconds later, she uttered, “It just talks about Perry O’Dontle…”  That’s all I heard.

I went downstairs and began flossing.

In truth, I’ve kept it up for 3 months, which brings me to my little hygenist test.  The temperature sensitivity had gone away, and I was pretty sure flossing was helping, but I wanted to see if she noticed, so I didn’t brag about flossing like one might expect when I sat down in the chair.  Sure enough, she passed.  After about two minutes of poking around in my mouth with sharp and hissing instruments, she asked, “Have you been flossing?”

She’s pretty sharp, that one.  She gave me a gold star.  I have a new respect for both her and floss. 

Now my wife, who doesn’t floss, claims that the hygenist also congratulated her on her flossing.  She claims she just played along.  I may have to take her gold star since it wasn’t earned each night with a slipping and popping piece of string.  I also worry about her relationship with Perry O’Dontle.