*Ash*

Ashley De Smet

English 1106

Sept. 25, 2007

Essay 1- Identity

Classification

The end of eighth grade at East Middle School in Superior, when I started to grow up was one of my worst childhood experiences. Weighing 90 lbs, and with a tall, lanky height of 5’3’’ was not something I was proud of or something I could have controlled. To most people they assumed I wanted to be so tall and skinny. I was the type of girl that was extremely shy because of being called names such as “anorexic,” “bulimic,” and “grossly skinny. “ I can remember people used to always tell me that I needed to eat more, which was one of the things that really got on my nerves.  

My least favorite part of the day was lunchtime. Don’t get me wrong, I loved to eat, but I had to listen to Kara and her friends say to me almost every day “Wow you sure eat a lot for how skinny you are.” I knew exactly what she was thinking when she said things like that. She was curious to know if I was headed to the bathroom after lunch to throw it all up.  

Kara was the type of girl that every guy liked and every girl wanted to be. Sure, my friends Kaylyn and I say by her at lunch, but it wasn’t my choice it was my friends who sat by her because they wanted to fit in. I really did not want to sit by her, but with my friends at her table and nowhere else to sit, I really didn’t have a choice. Kara’s favorite thing to do was stare at me in the hallways when I walked by, because she knew it bothered me, which made me feel even more self-conscious. What really worried me was I knew there were other people staring at me wondering the same thing, it made me want to crawl into a hole and never come out.  

Towards the end of the year I started sticking up for myself, and realizing that there is more to life than what people were saying or thought about me. I finally got the courage to stick up to Kara and her friends. The day I stuck up for myself was right in the morning before classes started for the day. I was walking down the hallway when I saw her staring at me with the fake smile on her face, and I stopped turned around and said “Whatever you’re saying is not true and the rumors that you are spreading are definitely not true, whatever you’re doing is only making my life miserable, especially when I can’t stop the rumors that were said about me, and there are so many other people like me too I just don’t get how someone can be so mean!” The look on Kara’s face was priceless; I could tell she was surprised to hear me say that. After a short pause and a surprised look on her face, she said “Ashley I’m seriously so sorry I had no idea that you felt like this, and I had no intensions to make you feel bad about yourself, what I did I know was really rude and I feel bad now.”  Hearing her say that really did make my day, maybe she really didn’t “mean to hurt me,” but all that mattered was I did the right thing.  

I told her that there are plenty of people like me, and that I cannot help being so skinny and tall. By telling her how I felt and that I was not bulimic or anorexic, she finally agreed that what she did was wrong. To this day I still believe that it was her own insecurity that made her act the way she did.  

After I talked to her lunch was not awkward anymore. I was not ashamed to eat in front of her or her friends. I started to enjoy lunch, and ended the year with more friends than I started with. This experience made me more outgoing and less self-conscious about how I looked.  

“Every issue of playboy, every lewd poster, and even the Victoria’s Secret catalog transform real women into ornaments, valued exclusively for their outward appearance.”

I chose to talk about this quote because I believe that many women, such as myself see these models as being so real to the point where they naturally look like that in real life. I have seen many different kinds of shows such as America’s Next Top Model, several runway shows, and am a fan of Victoria’s secret. Behind closed doors to what they rarely show on national t.v are women just like many of us, but to their advantage have many perfessionals working on their hair, makeup, fake tans, etc. The problem we have today is that many young girls stuggle with wanting the “perfect body” to what they see as perfection, sometimes they become so desperate to the point where they have an eating disorder. When Amy L. Beck talks about the media drilling in our heads that as women, we have to look a certain way and if we looked like the models we would be loved and respected. It was hard to read this essay because I know many people that struggling with insecurities of their body image, and always wanting to look like someone else. I’m not saying I have never wanted to look like a certain model or a certain celebrity, but what I have realized is that they are just like us, the only difference is they have many people working on their image everyday.

Me=Superman!

The superhero I believe most describes me would have to be superman. He is always there for people right when they need him, and I am actually a lot like that. I am always helping out my family and friends out with there problems when they need me. Like superman I am very aware of my surroundings, whether if i’m walking down the street by myself or walking to my car at night I always make sure i’m cautious. I also can fly, believe it or not…..fly a plane that is……I have flown my uncles air plane!!:)

“The Dare” page(714)

“Even my old cronies, Dwane and O.T, made it clear i’d never be one of the guys in junior high if I didn’t dirty up my act”

I chose to do that quote from the reading “The Dare” because, I believe that many kids in their Junior high days or even older get pressured into doing things just to fit in even by there very best friends. My personal veiws on what I think is important about the essay are, that Roger shouldn’t have listened to his friends or the “guys in Junior High.” In the end this not only showed how stupid of a dare it was and that it actually put his life in danger, but it also shows that they were obviously not true friends if they were to put there friends life in danger. I think life is way to short and more important than caring what people think about you. I believe the writers main point of the essay was that in the end all that really matters is that you learned what’s most important in life, “fitting in with the “in croud” or just being yourself.