AIB

Ashlee Brophy

Section 06

Cause and Effect

My Lost Friend

                I believe girls can be our own worst enemies.  Through experience I have learned that competition between high school girls can result in betrayal and ruined friendships.  In my opinion, many girls feel a need to one-up their female classmates and friends, so they feel better about themselves.  It is unfortunate that they don’t see each other as allies and resort to using manipulation and back-stabbing to give them the edge.  I found it more difficult to trust girls after my experience in high school. 

 I was entering my sophomore year and was really excited to begin another school year with my friends, especially my best friend Ember Peterson.   Ember and I had been friends since childhood, so we were looking forward to having the same classes together and being able to see each other almost every day.  

It was the night before the first day of school and we had decided to have a sleepover at Ember’s house. We spent half the night deciding what to wear for school and the rest of the time just watching movies and pigging out on munchies. It was a really fun night, like we always had when we were together.  

The next day at school was pretty amazing; I liked my teachers and the classes I got and Ember seemed pretty excited about them too. We had decided to take an art class together this semester, which we were really enthused about because Ben, the school stud, was going to be in the class with us. Em and I both had a crush on him because he was buff and gorgeous. We were now prepared and ready for the school year to start without any worries; at least that’s what I thought. My worries began to unravel the following day. It was a pretty normal Tuesday, except for the fact that Ember seemed quite distant and didn’t talk to me much during the day. I thought maybe she was just having a bad day, or that I upset her in some kind of way, so I went up to her after school and asked, “What’s wrong Em? Did something happen?” She replied “I’m fine, it’s nothing.” I didn’t believe her and I was curious to why she wasn’t telling me since we were best friends.  

Tuesday, September 9^th was one of the worst days of my sophomore year. Ember came up to me before homeroom and said, “You wanted to know what was wrong, so can we talk?” I immediately said yes because I was worried about her and the reason why she was being so distant. Ember began by telling me her opinion of the situation. She thought I didn’t want to spend time with her and our other friends from school anymore; where she got that idea I will never understand. She then went on saying that we’re not considered popular, so she thought we should stop being friends because we have different priorities. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing; she actually wanted to throw out our friendship just to be in the popular group with the other girls. Em told me she wanted to feel important and be the center of attention for once, especially with the cute guys. I was devastated; I couldn’t believe I lost my best friend to the rude, stuck up girls of high school. 

The rest of the day was horrible; I just wanted to dig myself a hole and crawl in it. Ember didn’t talk to me, sit by me, or look at me for the whole entire day. She acted like our friendship never existed and that I was invisible. I never thought my best friend would do such a hurtful thing to me since we’d been friends for so many years.  

Because I wasn’t part of the “in crowd” my friend had sold out to “upgrade” her social status.  I was a liability in her goal to be accepted by the “cool” girls in school.  She made the decision to move on to other friends that she felt would increase her popularity regardless of hurting her best friend.  This was a classic example of betrayal.  I let her and these other girls make me believe I wasn’t as good as they were. 

My sophomore year went on without Ember’s friendly company even though it was difficult to see her with her new friends.  I made my way through the year on my own. I didn’t try to change myself to be accepted into the popular clique; I made new friends by just being me. By doing so, I gained loyal friends who respected me for me who didn’t let the popularity aspect of high school get to their heads.  I have learned the warning signs of superficial girls and choose not to associate with them.  I do not trust as easily and do not believe everything I hear.  False compliments and smiles no longer weave their spell.  I was starving for affection and acceptance and missed the warning signs.  Although I have now experienced positive relationships with other girls, it’s the bad ones that have taught the best life lessons.